As a mother of two school-aged boys, one 8 and the other 13, I’ve come to realize that the time I spend with my kids has become more valuable than ever. Between school, after-school activities, and all the daily responsibilities that come with running a household, quality time with my children can be hard to come by. There are days when I collapse onto the sofa, exhausted from everything on my plate, and the easiest option seems to be letting the boys retreat to their games or screens. However, I’ve learned that when I intentionally make time for us to be together—whether it’s through a fun activity, a heartfelt conversation, or just simple bonding—it creates a positive ripple effect in so many aspects of our lives. The results are undeniable: better behavior, deeper connections, and even more meaningful conversations.
With that in mind, here are 11 secret benefits I’ve discovered about spending quality time with my children.
1. Making Them Feel Special
When you dedicate time to your kids, it sends a powerful message that they are valued and loved. It’s easy for children to feel overlooked when we’re busy managing the household and juggling various responsibilities, but by setting aside time to spend together, you show them that they matter. Simple moments, like playing a board game or sharing a story, make them feel special and reinforce their sense of worth. These moments might seem small, but they build the foundation of trust and emotional connection in the relationship.
2. Strengthening the Bond with Your Children
It’s easy to assume that being with your kids means you’re already bonded, but spending intentional, undistracted time together is a game-changer. When I put away my phone, step away from my to-do list, and focus entirely on my children, I notice that the bond deepens. The simple act of being fully present allows us to engage in meaningful conversations, share laughs, and participate in activities that bring us closer. This quality time nurtures the parent-child relationship in ways that mere proximity or “quantity” time cannot.
3. Hearing Their Opinions
As a mother to a teen, I’ve come to appreciate the moments when my son shares his opinions on a wide range of topics. While many of our conversations may start with typical teenage resistance or disagreement, I’ve noticed that when we spend time alone—whether it’s a walk or a quiet moment at home—it opens the door to deeper discussions. Topics can range from personal beliefs to more complex societal issues. The key is not to impose my views but to listen attentively and allow him to express himself. These conversations teach me more about who he is becoming, and it helps us navigate the challenges of parenting with a better understanding of each other.
4. Getting to Know Your Children Better
Spending quality time with my children gives me a clearer picture of who they are as individuals. Even though I’ve known them since birth, the more we engage in one-on-one moments, the more I learn about their evolving thoughts, preferences, and values. For example, my older son has developed his own unique outlook on life, while my younger one is still exploring the world in black and white terms. Each conversation reveals a little more about their personalities, and this helps me better support and guide them as they grow.
5. Creating a Judgment-Free Learning Environment
Children are constantly learning, but there’s something about spending quality time together that encourages them to learn without the pressures of formal schooling or judgment. Whether we’re building a fort or baking cookies together, I make sure to create a space where they can explore, ask questions, and make mistakes without fear of being judged. This type of learning encourages self-confidence and curiosity. As a parent, I get to witness their growth firsthand while fostering a positive environment where learning is enjoyable.
6. Encouraging Acts of Kindness
Studies have shown that children who engage in family activities are more likely to perform acts of kindness. When we spend time together as a family, whether it’s helping with chores or doing something fun for someone else, we instill values of empathy and kindness. Children learn by example, and when they see you engaging in good deeds, they are more likely to carry those lessons with them as they grow.
7. Reducing Behavioral Issues
I’ve noticed that when my children spend quality time with me, their behavior improves. It’s as if the time together helps them feel more secure and understood, which reduces the likelihood of acting out. For instance, building a fort with my younger son not only gives us a chance to bond, but it also calms him down and improves his overall mood. When they feel connected and engaged, they are less likely to exhibit behavioral problems, and this, in turn, makes parenting a little bit easier.
8. Improved Academic Performance
Quality time doesn’t just strengthen the emotional bond between us; it also has a positive impact on my children’s education. By engaging in conversations about topics ranging from history to politics, I’ve seen my kids absorb knowledge in a casual, enjoyable way. Whether we’re chatting about current events during a walk or discussing books over lunch, they’re constantly learning. Studies have shown that children who spend more time with their parents tend to perform better academically, and I’ve found this to be true in my own family.
9. Reducing the Risk of Dangerous Activities
One of the biggest fears I have as a parent is the possibility of my children getting involved in risky or dangerous behavior. Spending quality time with them allows me to guide them through these concerns, teaching them about the risks and consequences of certain actions. By being involved in their lives and having open discussions, I can help them make better decisions. The more we connect, the more they are likely to seek advice and guidance from me, reducing the chances of them making poor choices.
10. Lowering Stress Levels
While there are certainly moments of stress—like dealing with tantrums or heated debates—on the whole, spending time with my children helps lower our collective stress. Engaging in fun, relaxing activities like playing games, cooking together, or even just watching a movie reduces anxiety and boosts our mood. These moments of togetherness release endorphins and create a sense of calm, not just for the kids, but for me as well. When we share positive experiences, it’s easier to cope with the stresses of daily life.
11. Promoting Healthy Lifestyle Choices
When I spend time with my kids, I also have the opportunity to model healthy habits. Whether it’s preparing a nutritious meal together or discussing the importance of exercise, these moments of quality time give me a chance to teach them about making healthier choices. For example, my younger son has shown interest in my salad preparation, asking about the different vegetables and why I choose them. By involving him in the process, he learns about food and nutrition in a way that feels natural. We still indulge in treats occasionally, but the consistent conversations about healthy choices have made a noticeable difference in how they view food.
Spending quality time with your children is more than just an opportunity for fun—it has lasting benefits for their emotional, cognitive, and physical well-being. From building stronger connections to fostering better behavior and academic performance, the time you invest in them today will pay off in countless ways tomorrow. As busy as life can get, taking a moment to be fully present with your children is always worth it.